Rising Like A Phoenix

  • tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
  • new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
  • tourist: oh you think your clever???
  • new yorker: what
  • tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
  • new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
  • tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
  • the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
Via I'm Barely Breathing.

(Source: giffingtvd)



to do something, to be somewhere, to slip outside and outpace a wolf. Running in the night sky with crystalline stars in my eyes.

(Source: pepepepepepepepepepepepe)


I want to cut. I want to shred my fucking wrist. I want to see the blood run out of my skin. I want to feel pain.

Dear heat, please leave you make it a lot harder to hide things

(Source: self-harming-diary)

Via Comfortably Numb
  • Teacher: Why did you not study?
  • Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!
Via I'm Barely Breathing.


  • me: I AM A STRONG BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN
  • real life friends: ...the fuck you smoking
  • parents: but sweetheart you're white
  • tumblr friends: BBY DATS RIGHT U GO TYRONE U GO
Via I'm Barely Breathing.

(Source: looksdelicious)


Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. She’d believed in it once too, back when she was eighteen. But she knew that love was messy, just like life. It took turns that people couldn’t foresee or even understand, leaving a long trail of regret in its wake. And almost always, those regrets led to the kind of ‘what if’ questions that could never be answered.

– The Best of Me - Nicholas Sparks. (via br0dizzle)

(Source: camouflagecandy)

Via The Girl behind the Mask







onalighterrnote:

glasscoffin:

lizdexia:

party like it’s 2004: a middle school mixtape

Put on your best party dress (from Kohl’s, natch), your platform flip-flops, and your hair mascara. It’s time for the end-of-the-year dance, chaperoned by your gym teacher Mr. Belcher and your evil art teacher Mrs. Bjerke (sounds like beer-key but should’ve rhymed with BEE-JERK, ‘cause that’s what she was). No freak dancing allowed, kids. Sodas are $1 at the concessions table.

  1. Yeah! | Usher ft. Lil Jon
  2. Since U Been Gone | Kelly Clarkson
  3. 1985 | Bowling for Soup
  4. Bad Day | Daniel Powter
  5. Sk8er Boi | Avril Lavigne
  6. Crazy in Love | Beyonce
  7. Dirty Little Secret | All American Rejects
  8. The Reason | Hoobastank
  9. Hey Ya | Outkast
  10. My Humps | Black Eyed Peas
  11. The First Cut is the Deepest | Sheryl Crow
  12. Rock Your Body | Justin Timberlake
  13. She Will Be Loved | Maroon 5
  14. Work It | Missy Elliott
  15. White Flag | Dido
  16. Pieces of Me | Ashlee Simpson
  17. Leave (Get Out) | Jojo
  18. Milkshake | Kelis
  19. Hollaback Girl | Gwen Stefani
  20. Mr. Brightside | The Killers
  21. Stacy’s Mom | Fountains of Wayne
  22. So Yesterday | Hilary Duff

SO RIDICULOUSLY ACCURATE 


Derpy photo of your favorite celebrity

  • Normal person: What's wrong with their face?
  • You: OH GOD
  • You: OH SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST
  • You: YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS
  • You: YOU SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE
  • You: OH GOD WHY DO I LOVE YOU
Via I'm Barely Breathing.


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